On April 2, shortly after my last post on “Bella’s Story” my beloved fur baby lost her 7 year battle with Mega Esophagus. Devastated by this journey and her loss, I found it impossible to write.
Since then, finding myself in the dawn of this first day of 2012, I still have no answers but I do see new beginning’s of a silver lining in this dark grey cloud of the storm.
The day after we buried our Bella in our beautiful garden, under the Weeping Willow, a fierce storm emerged from the west. Heart broken, I deeply felt the need to cry out to my God. In the midst of the roar, I needed answers. “Why?” Confusion and anger pouring from deep within my soul…
Immediately convicted, I asked God’s forgiveness. After a pause and with sincerity in my heart, I longingly asked Him, “Is Bella ok, is she with You Father? Is she up in Heaven praising You right now?” I desperately needed to know she was happy and safe…
Instantly, God answered me with an imposingly dark grey cloud. It was large and moving quickly appearing from behind the roof of my home. Stunned, I gazed as it drew near, floating above me. It took me a minute but to my delightful surprise, this cloud was in the shape of my Bella! Blackish grey, fluffy, long-bodied, her perfectly formed head, ears, four short little legs, a tail, with bright lightning-white angel wings… I couldn’t believe it!
I thought to myself, “I need to take a photo of this or no one will believe me!” I ran into my house to get my camera. Excitedly asked Rick if he knew where the camera was. “Bella’s up in the sky!” I yelled! Rick thought I’d lost it, and he came running outside thinking he would literally see Bella flying around, up in the sky.
By the time I got back outside with my camera, the beautiful cloud was mostly fizzled and gone… But my heart and soul were at peace and overjoyed! To think that God loved me enough to answer my desperate prayer in such a creative and laughable way was amazing to me and still is eight months later.
Loosing someone or something so beloved is one of the harshest things about this life that we all have to experience at one time or another. Even God Himself suffered loss and felt this unbearable pain, when He gave up His own Son for us for a time.
In this new year, let us always look for the silver lining in each unwanted storm cloud that comes our way. Instead of focusing on the dark grey of the center, may we always notice the brightness of God’s love and hope, as we keep our skyward look!
Love, Blessings, and Happy New Year to you all!
Vivian May Edwards